Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Running in Toms

Today was mid-week. It wasn't a bad day, but I did feel kind of down for some or all of the day. On the way to school, it started storming. Fearing to be caught in the rain sans-rain boots or umbrella, I ran the last part of my walk to school. My advice: never run more than a few feet in Toms. By the time I got to work, my arches had cramps and my feet were killing me all day. But, better than getting caught in the downpour which commenced about 5 minutes after I got in the building. Being rained on is a big pet peeve of mine... So, my day could definitely have been worse!

I'm not sure what affected my day. I think it might have just been a general mood over the office. In fact, it should have been an awesome day! I got to work with 2 letters and a surprise package on my desk! Letters from some family friends and 1 from my Gramma, then the package, which was LLBean, could only have been from my mom. She sent me a shirt that I had mentioned I was wanting. SO SWEET and completely unexpected!!!!! It really made me happy :)

In my 2SAP class, we were going over the test and doing some review of concepts they struggled with, and some test corrections. However, only 1 student (out of 3) was in class. It was actually good, since we got everything done and still had time to talk a little. Unfortunately, I learned a lesson about being a teacher. Sometimes, no matter how hard you try, your kids won't love you. Charlotte, the 1 student in class, told me that Kelly and Rachel (other students) had said that I was "bad teacher" (which could be translated as mean - that I make them do their work, or bad - don't teach well). I am going to assume, coming from 7-8 year olds, it's the former. And to top it off, I remember the incident. In fact, it's happened multiple times. They speak Korean, I tell them to speak English, and they innocently look at me and say "Teacher, we were saying you are so nice! So good!" and give me thumbs up. Wow, what a lie.

No matter how old the students are, no matter how annoying they can be, it still sucks to hear that your efforts at being a good teacher, even secretly hoping to be a favorite, the cool one, have gone to waste. I especially like this class, since there is only 3, I can get to know them better. Plus, I see them every day. And to hear that they don't like me hurt a little. Yes, they are immature. Yes, they judge quality based on how many stamps I give them and how much homework I assign. But I still wished they liked me.

I think this is (probably) something every teacher has to deal with at some point. Sometime during a teaching career, no matter how great of a teacher you are, some kid won't like you. And you just have to realize that it does not matter. By this, I don't mean you shouldn't feel bad or ignore it. But, understand fully and completely that you are not their friend. You are not paid to be their favorite. There is no value in gaining their admiration. No profit from being "cool". You are from different sides of the "tracks" even. It's not like you are in different cliques, you are completely different species. So, after a few minutes of being hurt, I had a moment to swallow this truth. It did affect my mood, but I'm happy to say I'm not torn up about it. It's just something I had to realize and work through in my brain.

Well, that was a growing moment. I've definitely been aware of how I am judged and perceived within my various social settings. I worry too much if I am liked, and I will readily admit that. I don't like thinking (and hate knowing) that someone doesn't like me. But, I worked through this particular situation, I'm happy to say.

When I got off work, the walk home was actually cold. Not just nice, cool, fall breeze. It was goosebumps, can't relax my shoulders for being bunched up with my arms wrapped around as tight as they can go - cold. I am definitely going to start taking a jacket to school. Speaking of which, this morning my mom emailed me a Lands End coupon for 40% off. She totally watches out for me. I ordered a down coat, which is right at knee-length (maybe a little above). I got ivory color, since black is so harsh, and I felt it would still match everything I could wear with it. I am so excited to get it in! Until then, my worn out wool/wishes-it-was-wool jackets will have to make do. Hopefully the true winter doesn't hit until December!

I stopped off at the small grocery store near me and got fresh eggs and some potatoes and various cooking sauces and spices. I have this little crockpot and I'm determined to use it tomorrow with some chicken. But I need something to cook it with, so I grabbed some things to experiment with.

Oh, one last thing, I am very proud of myself because I invited 2 of my coworkers to get their hair cut with me at the salon I am going to on Saturday. They've been trying to get it done, but it hasn't worked out. But, they agreed! I know it might sound lame, but it's the small stuff! The fact that I invited my coworkers to do something, and they said yes, and I'm being outgoing and attempting to be a friend: well, this is another step in the right direction. :)


  1. I like the new format. To me it is easier to read. "Old" eyes I guess.
    Being a teacher of adults I ran into the same thing. You said it correctly - I'm not here to be your friend but to be your instructor. I was always thought of as the "hard" teacher, but so many have said they knew they had to study for my class and now many have thanked me for being "hard". Hang in there

  2. Always want to "fix" things for you. (I do realize you can and do "fix" for yourself, ergo, not much need there!) Even though you had a downer of a day (and just about drowned as well), seems to me you're accomplishing exactly what you set out to. . . So, hang tight, know you are "liked" and very much loved by those who really matter. Those little brats er, uh, excuse me, those 2 students are testing the waters; not to worry, their parents are grateful you're teaching, even tho' the brats (uh-oh, said it again!!) might not be. At least not now. Hey, Gramma said it very well - later they will thank you! :-) Loving your Blog - Good Work Chelsea!!


Subscribe via email

Enter your email address:

Delivered by FeedBurner